Flawed Friendship
Flawed Friendship
Women are known to have very unique friendships. Certain friendships last a long time; while, other friendships are short and quick. All my friendships hold a special place cemented in my heart. As a young girl friendships start off fast and those are the first ones we remember. As I get older I even begin to treasure the friendships that ended bitterly. It seems that those not so happy endings of a friendship actually helped me to learn quite a few lessons. Perhaps, the most significant friendship involved a girlfriend with whom I was acquainted with for nearly a decade. That’s right, for a decade we traveled together, worked together, raised our kids together, picked up men together, and spiraled thru many exciting events during our twenties and early thirties. Sadly, though for almost a decade I had remained quiet about a lot of things I felt regarding my friend. I didn’t always agree with her behavior or her decisions. My friend had a very “up in your face” kind of attitude. Also, her life was a never-ending soap opera filled event with twists and turns. Daily, I would get a call that usually started off with divulging intimate details that would make Hugh Heffner blush. These calls really got to me because rarely would she say “Hello” or “How are you?” She would just start off with a “Guess what happened….” It became common that I would cringe on my end of the phone as I listened to one sordid detail after another regarding her sex life, or new man, or her horrible job. Yet, instead of voicing my feelings I kept them bottled up and only said things randomly to other people. …You know when you ask someone something like …hypothetically speaking. Or when you say …I can’t believe my friend did that... I now realize that withholding my feelings enabled my friend to continue her behavior thinking that I co-signed on her negativity. In reality I was going thru a charade. I suddenly came to an awakening. I had to sever the ties of this friendship. I accepted the blame that it was unfair of me to continue pretending that I was a real friend. I was in actuality a flawed friend and we had a flawed friendship. A real friend would have offered more advice and been more honest with their friend when the negative and uncomfortable situations occurred. Hence, it’s almost a decade later and despite our disharmonious ending I am thankful for the friendship. Because of this friend I am able to look back and analyze my own behavior and recognize my own flawed sense of judgment. Now, as I enter into my late thirties I am capable of being a better friend. However, my flawed friendship makes me appreciate my other friendships and I no longer parade around as a friend I am capable of being a real friend and letting someone know when I disagree.
Women are known to have very unique friendships. Certain friendships last a long time; while, other friendships are short and quick. All my friendships hold a special place cemented in my heart. As a young girl friendships start off fast and those are the first ones we remember. As I get older I even begin to treasure the friendships that ended bitterly. It seems that those not so happy endings of a friendship actually helped me to learn quite a few lessons. Perhaps, the most significant friendship involved a girlfriend with whom I was acquainted with for nearly a decade. That’s right, for a decade we traveled together, worked together, raised our kids together, picked up men together, and spiraled thru many exciting events during our twenties and early thirties. Sadly, though for almost a decade I had remained quiet about a lot of things I felt regarding my friend. I didn’t always agree with her behavior or her decisions. My friend had a very “up in your face” kind of attitude. Also, her life was a never-ending soap opera filled event with twists and turns. Daily, I would get a call that usually started off with divulging intimate details that would make Hugh Heffner blush. These calls really got to me because rarely would she say “Hello” or “How are you?” She would just start off with a “Guess what happened….” It became common that I would cringe on my end of the phone as I listened to one sordid detail after another regarding her sex life, or new man, or her horrible job. Yet, instead of voicing my feelings I kept them bottled up and only said things randomly to other people. …You know when you ask someone something like …hypothetically speaking. Or when you say …I can’t believe my friend did that... I now realize that withholding my feelings enabled my friend to continue her behavior thinking that I co-signed on her negativity. In reality I was going thru a charade. I suddenly came to an awakening. I had to sever the ties of this friendship. I accepted the blame that it was unfair of me to continue pretending that I was a real friend. I was in actuality a flawed friend and we had a flawed friendship. A real friend would have offered more advice and been more honest with their friend when the negative and uncomfortable situations occurred. Hence, it’s almost a decade later and despite our disharmonious ending I am thankful for the friendship. Because of this friend I am able to look back and analyze my own behavior and recognize my own flawed sense of judgment. Now, as I enter into my late thirties I am capable of being a better friend. However, my flawed friendship makes me appreciate my other friendships and I no longer parade around as a friend I am capable of being a real friend and letting someone know when I disagree.
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